Am I really the good person I believe I am?

Or have I simply become fluent in excusing the parts of me I would condemn in someone else?

Have I simply become skilled at forgiving my wrongdoings

before anyone else gets the chance?

Do I call it wisdom when it is only convenience?

Do I call it honesty when it costs me nothing?

I have called my flaws "being human,"

and my silence "keeping the peace."

Perhaps my kindness is selective.

Perhaps my patience has conditions.

How many people are still holding grudges against a version of me

I've already outgrown?

I have judged hearts using actions,

yet begged to have mine judged by intentions.

The mirror has never argued with me.

It only returned the face I was willing to see.

So today,

I ask not to be called good,

but to be shown

where goodness in me

still has room to grow.

Comments

A Thousand Ways To Lie

Let's face it, we're all liars, though some of us are more creative. So I'll tell you few things I've said before and hope I don't regret this. "Ohh my gosh, I can't hear you, my network is really bad" I just couldn't tell you I'm bored by you but I wish I had. I tell you "I'm almost there" when I'm reluctant to get out of bed. Probably busy, going through thoughts filling up my head. I say "It's so great to see you" while putting on a fake smile. If I tell you what I meant, your happiness won't last for a while. "Sorry I didn't see your call, I'm really busy here in Tokyo" By now you should know I'm lying because I'm a real life Pinocchio. I use "I've got plans on that day" to get out of chances to meet new faces. Just because I feel uncomfortable in a crowd so I avoid new places. When the words I let out are hurting and too true, I say "I'm ...

Personality

My name is Jude Umoren and I’m not a bad person My recent strange behaviors results from past lessons Don’t judge my life by the chapter you walked in on Because I’ve good and bad days just like everyone I pretend I’m a good singer and also wish I could dance I don’t hold grudges because I’ve got my future in my hands I hate complications so I try making my life simple I’m an introvert and extrovert, it differs with people The only open relationship I have is between me and my bed I’m a victim to depression that without grace, I’d be dead I fall in love faster than you’d fall into a swimming pool I’m too sensitive and just like most people, I hate school Sometimes I walk into a room and wonder why I even came in I can do bad things too but my excuse is home training I’ve lost so many friends because of my honest opinions I know they’ll come back once I start making my millions And if after all these you don’t still like me, Jude Then the problem isn’t me, it’s ...

DEPRESSURIZED

Some days I wake up, scared the day may be my last I haven’t done much good deeds judging from my past I gave my life to Christ but took it back the next day Know sinning is wrong but still do bad things my friends say I go to sleep without praying like I had a fight with God But wake up screaming “JESUS” when I dream of losing blood People ask how I’m doing and I lie “I’m fine” But can’t even enjoy life knowing I’m running out of time There’s light at the end of the tunnel and that’s hope But some thoughts make me want to end life with a rope I attempted to do the wrong, I attempted to let life go Now I wear long sleeves afraid my attempts will show Everything hurts, failed promises, heartbreaks and backbiting To a point, the ones I call friends are also demons I’m fighting Sucked up in a black hole, trying to escape depression But you can’t run away from what will always be your reflection Saturday nights, I feel the pressure, I get depressed Sunday morning, ...

JUDE UMOREN

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