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Yours Hopefully

 Last night I laid in bed with my face gazing at the ceiling. Tears rolled to my ears as only I knew what and how I was feeling But sometimes I wonder what my pillow thinks every night Knowing it supports my head every time yet I still don't end up alright But how can I explain to an inanimate object what letting out is That I convert my pain to liquid and then send them as tears Weeks ago I got on a call with my cousin and he asked for some cash He has always been helpful to me so I felt bad telling him I didn't have Funny enough I had thought of calling him for some financial assistance But he called first and I disappointed him that instant "It's okay brother, soon we'll look back at moments like this and laugh", he said My eye balls got wet to his encouraging words, hopeful yet I cried instead  Today I got a mail from a job I was interviewed months ago to resume in two days Here I lay in bed soaking my pillow again, but I'm sure it understands these ar
Recent posts

Emily

 There she walked in, her long brown hair swaying in the midday breeze A beauty to behold, no one could have been prepared for this We've been classmates for years and I've never looked at her this way "Go say hi to her" my friend said, I'm not her type I replied in dismay I usually think that something is wrong with me, like a part of me is broken Maybe that's why whenever I'm around her, I don't seem to be outspoken  But when I think too much about it, I conclude my problem is the fear of rejection  So I would lie to my friends " I don't like this particular girl, I promise to approach the next one" While I sat there questioning how someone's daughter could be so stunning  It's quite unbelievable that I was looking at her direction yet didn't see her coming  "Hey Jude what's up" she said, "I've noticed you stare at me all day" I don't know what came over me when I replied "Nothing, you lo

Dear Denise

 The day my twin sister died, her last words were "Stop crying fool!, I'll get better" Yet I stood helplessly beside her body and watched as life left her Loud screams were heard in the ward and my relatives must have cried a river But I didn't cry 'cos she said she was going to get better and I believed her At her burial I kept screaming at the casket "You liar, you promised" And "Please don't let them take you away from me Denise" 'Old people are wise' so I asked my Grandma what it felt like to die  She glanced at me with pity and I could see the tears in her eyes She said "Alive, You are loved as a person and when you die, as a memory" I didn't understand her but now the image she was painting is getting less blurry " Dear Denise , ever since you left, you took a piece of me with you I'm no more strong like I used to be, I can't even bear to say adieu Grandma said you are gone forever and I keep hoping

Insomnia

 The time is 3:50 am and I know that soon the cock will crow Why I stay up so late every night is something I want to know Many are times I get in bed early yearning for the arrival of a dream Yet I lay awake, eyes closed because sleeping is harder than it seems Don't you assume I'm up because of a girl for it won't sound right If the girl of my dreams is the reason why I can't sleep at night For in that state of sleeplessness, I'm flooded with regretful memories I think of points I could have used in past arguments to win my adversaries I become vulnerable to the voices in my head who gets me offended By telling me I'm never enough and suicide is the only way I can end it Whenever I fall asleep, my inner demons prey on me; their victim But I know I'll never find rest until I find a way to defeat them I'm optimistic that one day I will sleep peacefully, I believe I will But for now as soon as day breaks I'm going to get some sleeping pills

Spirited

 Someone gave me a dictionary as a gift on my last birthday But when I'm asked how I'm doing, I don't have the words to say "I'm depressed and not okay" to me is the truth and the perfect reply But people don't believe me because they think I'm a happy and great guy Well, I think that's one thing I can confidently say I do very well Hiding my feelings behind a mask of happiness which nobody else can tell You don't have to worry about me because I'm holding on just fine Things are better now than when I used to think I was running out of time "Life is like a party, as soon as the music stops, you leave" I can't leave yet when I still have a million things to achieve I know it may seem to you like I'm just another BROKEN dude God is the POTTER, with that alone, things will be fine as they should See no matter how many times I may pass out from life blows. I'll always survive and get back in the fight 'cos that's

The Vow

 My best friend just got engaged to a guy in the states And I have been crushing on her ever since 2008 I used to think that I was the only close male in her life And I've always been optimistic that one day she'll realize That I love her very much and she is the only girl I had ever adored But she never noticed me 'cos people don't see what they are not looking for And if you ask me why I love her more than I like myself It's probably because I have never known anyone else She shed tears of joy as they exchange their vows and I cry too But because we bleed the same does not mean it's the same pain I know she will smile at me while she walks down the aisle Heaven knows that I can't bear losing her to this guy I hope your marriage is fruitful as you're no more the apple of my eye A loser though I be but one thing I know is unexpressed emotions never die I wish you a happy married life Everything beautiful is ruined eventually

At Home at War

 Last December, I declared that 2020 was going to be my year. But just the first quarter, has me overwhelmed with fear. Staying at home, "forced introversion" seems like a difficult task. Then going out, I'm afraid I might suffocate in my face mask. I'm running out of food supplies and I really can't stay inside any longer. Because if the virus don't kill me outside, then I may die indoors from hunger. I'm social distancing and expecting nobody to come knocking on my door. Because to defeat this virus, I need to be at home yet at war