JUDE UMOREN

I don't hope things should get any better Once you get to read this apology letter I'm sorry that you were subjected to abuse as a child It was obvious that the trauma always had you riled I'm sorry I was always right when we fight everytime I'm sorry you didn't like seeing me have a peace of mind I'm sorry for things I had and haven't done I'm sorry for more things that were yet to come Why did you leave me when I needed you the most I knew our love was dead but I do believe in ghosts You left me without letting your motives known Maybe you thought I'd feel punished if I'm alone It's hard to rely on people in this world we live in I knew you wouldn't change but I kept on believing I'm not filled with remorse for letting you go I know you'll need time to work on your ego I was your cure while you were my sickness I was your strength while you were my weakness And judging from every point of view The prob

My mouth is pregnant with tons of words. And not finding anyone to talk to really hurts Loneliness became the ocean I was drowning in.  Loneliness was the sound of music surrounding me. Sometimes I felt its stench filling up the room. Countless nights, it kept me staring at the moon. I could hear it whisper "suicide" in my ears. Breathing became a threat and living, one of my greatest fears Loneliness got me paranoid. Inculcated me with habits I couldn't avoid. I couldn't blend in with the crowd because of discrimination. Was I created this way or did I deserve this condemnation? I was a free man yet its loyal prisoner. A gun in sight, this suicide thoughts has been seasonal What will happen if I end everything with the gun? Will I be forgiven for my actions when I'm gone? I've seen similar suicidal cases on socials and on the Press That leaves me with the question "Am I lonely or just depressed?"