JUDE UMOREN

Crippled with anxiety so I sit in this wheelchair below the clock on the wall This happens to be my favorite moment knowing that time heals all I'm forced to watch time and opportunity slowly pass me by A funeral is yet to come 'cos with time these memories will soon die Everybody has a body language but all mine translates to is pain Maybe I'm not fluent enough and thinking about it drives me insane I can't get over the times I murdered people with words and condemnation Used my tongue like a double edged sword as I destroyed their reputation I unfollowed everyone on my twitter because I have to follow my intuition    I'm sure it's not only me that does this since it's the human condition My room is a graveyard because I've got skeletons in my cupboard I'm colorblind and I'm beginning to think that salvation is colored. My peers are living alone now while I live with regrets I've been lonely 'cos I have friends I haven't reconciled w

 It's evening as I watch the sunset wave goodbye Before fading into oblivion as darkness takes over the sky Few moments later, the sound of chirping crickets keeps me company I find peace out here in the open 'cos behind my entrance door lies agony I'm at the dining table with family yet I feel miserable and alone Although I'm welcomed in their house but I'm not in their home Because many years ago before Dad left us he wanted a son Mom was too young then to have a child so she wanted none But as fate had it I still came anyway and my misery started The same way Dad left, that's the same way my happiness departed  My life feels like a theatre because it's full of drama But I know I still am a stranger to mum and grandma I wanted to be a doctor but mom sent me to a law school  Maybe she's trying to mould me into someone she can accept and love too I feel punished when all I ever wanted is a mother's love and acceptance I want to be close to them in re

 My life is a contradiction Today it's real, tomorrow it's fiction Whenever I turn off my data connection, reality sets in Life becomes less blurry and I wonder if I'm still destined I anticipate the unknown with my hands opened wide  Knowing expectations hurts sometimes but I'll end up alright Life is full of ups and downs and this is something you should expect Because you can't go to a gym and not expect to sweat Some people want you to remain under them like 'souls under soles' However, everyone is a puppet in life until they figure out their roles. I've seen people with ugly characters and beautiful faces I've met good people in the worst of places Everybody are hypocrites yet pretend not to be one When night comes, I face insomnia, I face my demons But I know I can't defeat the demons I enjoy playing with. What else can I do when salvation seems like a myth ? One day I'll kick the bucket knowing that I tried my best to play my part Beca

(Love) I like a lot of weird things like the sound of raindrops on my roof. But whenever I tell people I love them, they still want me to show proof. (Anger) Pissed off many times, my hands are heavy from holding grudges. I'm told to forgive everyone like Jesus Christ, for only he judges. (Tears) Some people are depressed while others are having a bad life. Maybe that's why my best friend decided to end his own life with a knife. (Fear) "The end of corona virus pandemic". Or is this too much to ask ? Because I'm looking forward to going outside without needing a mask. (Pain) Watching bad things happen to good people is what pains me the most. Just like when Alex fought cancer for years till he finally gave up the ghost. (Hate) I definitely dislike when people walking in front of me are so slow. And when the girl I like keeps referring to me as "bro"  (Joy) My crush and her boyfriend broke up, I can'

My alarm clock screams at exactly 9am on a MONDAY. It's the beginning of the week and it seems like I'm gonna have a long day.  I have to pay my Bro a visit in the hospital tomorrow and I can't choose this. It's a must and that's why I developed and nurtured this hatred for TUESDAYS.  I'm haunted by memories I can't let go no matter how hard I try. Because three WEDNESDAYS ago I had to watch my best friend die. On THURSDAY I have to order for a new set of medications while I fight diabetes. Scared because after my fight with my landlord, he said "You'll die, bet this". They say "Thank God it's FRIDAY (TGIF)" but I'm not really that grateful for this. Because I'm living a sad life and I haven't  stopped feeling miserable for days. I was engulfed by an ocean of thoughts last SATURDAY. On the couch in the front porch where I sat all day. And on SUNDAYS I go to church because I'm not an atheist. My spiritual life may b

She and I were close but not like stores after 10pm She was an angel whenever we talked in the DM She was fierce, if you happened to meet her for real Then you'd gladly wish her bad side was just surreal An introvert, she hated everyone that ever crossed her path For this, I believed our friendship would never come apart She was great yet her good qualities were engulfed by her bad ones They say one day she'll change and that's what even her Dad wants She told me about her feelings for me in ways I couldn't comprehend That was really sad because honestly, I only loved her as a friend She was furious at me, eventually our friendSHIP started to SINK There was a change in her behavior yet I couldn't understand a thing I wish she understood my reasons before proceeding to hate me too. I could have made my motives known only if she had let me to. To be sincere, I never dreamt of us ever being mere enemies. So I took the responsibility of avoiding co

Dear Wife, why hate my relationship with a bottle of alcohol? The love I share with it may seem strong yet ours is overall. Although these few months has really got me in a bad place. I've been depressed but you could never be the light in my darkness. Everytime I needed you to pay attention to my grief and you didn't. I went to the bar knowing that a bottle of alcohol always listens. I get people come around to tell me too much of it isn't healthy. But none of them cares about my reason and try to help me. Some days I'm smart and some days I'm dull. Blame me not, blame the alcohol. Most times I stagger and subsequently fall. Blame me not, blame the alcohol. And the time I felt dizzy and puked in the bus. Alcohol was certainly the cause. For all the times I bickered. I was influenced by the Liquor. I know I'm well known for making promises I don't keep. But I promise to reduce my intake to just a sip. Because I hope to establish an

Let's face it, we're all liars, though some of us are more creative. So I'll tell you few things I've said before and hope I don't regret this. "Ohh my gosh, I can't hear you, my network is really bad" I just couldn't tell you I'm bored by you but I wish I had. I tell you "I'm almost there" when I'm reluctant to get out of bed. Probably busy, going through thoughts filling up my head. I say "It's so great to see you" while putting on a fake smile. If I tell you what I meant, your happiness won't last for a while. "Sorry I didn't see your call, I'm really busy here in Tokyo" By now you should know I'm lying because I'm a real life Pinocchio. I use "I've got plans on that day" to get out of chances to meet new faces. Just because I feel uncomfortable in a crowd so I avoid new places. When the words I let out are hurting and too true, I say "I'm