Things you noticed but never cared about on Whatsapp

I've been minding my own business for too long but this is too much, Weird thoughts on my Whatsapp list....

-Someone's status is 'sleeping' for 13days.

…. He is probably dead.

-Someone is "driving" for 5days.

…. Probably going to Mumbai.

-Someone’s "happy" for one month.

…. Do they live in Paradise?

-Someone's always 'Available'.

…. How free are they?

-Someone is like from day1 'Hey there. I am using WhatsApp.'

…. Dame it!!! I know! That’s why you are on my list.

-Someone updates 'Urgent calls only'.

…. Are you in the ambulance service?

-Someone updates 'Can’t talk. WhatsApp only’.

…. Dude, throw away that phone. You are not using it for its primary function.

-Another say they are 'At the gym'.

…. I wish to see their shape when they come out.

-Another updates 'In a meeting' for like 6months.

…. Are You planning to sell Nigeria or what?

-Someone else says 'Battery about to die' for 3months.

…. Boss, is your battery immortal?

-Another lady updates 'At the movies' for the last 6weeks.

…. Are you selling popcorn there?

LOL

Comments

The Girl I Couldn't Love

She and I were close but not like stores after 10pm She was an angel whenever we talked in the DM She was fierce, if you happened to meet her for real Then you'd gladly wish her bad side was just surreal An introvert, she hated everyone that ever crossed her path For this, I believed our friendship would never come apart She was great yet her good qualities were engulfed by her bad ones They say one day she'll change and that's what even her Dad wants She told me about her feelings for me in ways I couldn't comprehend That was really sad because honestly, I only loved her as a friend She was furious at me, eventually our friendSHIP started to SINK There was a change in her behavior yet I couldn't understand a thing I wish she understood my reasons before proceeding to hate me too. I could have made my motives known only if she had let me to. To be sincere, I never dreamt of us ever being mere enemies. So I took the responsibility of avoiding co

Personality

My name is Jude Umoren and I’m not a bad person My recent strange behaviors results from past lessons Don’t judge my life by the chapter you walked in on Because I’ve good and bad days just like everyone I pretend I’m a good singer and also wish I could dance I don’t hold grudges because I’ve got my future in my hands I hate complications so I try making my life simple I’m an introvert and extrovert, it differs with people The only open relationship I have is between me and my bed I’m a victim to depression that without grace, I’d be dead I fall in love faster than you’d fall into a swimming pool I’m too sensitive and just like most people, I hate school Sometimes I walk into a room and wonder why I even came in I can do bad things too but my excuse is home training I’ve lost so many friends because of my honest opinions I know they’ll come back once I start making my millions And if after all these you don’t still like me, Jude Then the problem isn’t me, it’s

A Thousand Ways To Lie

Let's face it, we're all liars, though some of us are more creative. So I'll tell you few things I've said before and hope I don't regret this. "Ohh my gosh, I can't hear you, my network is really bad" I just couldn't tell you I'm bored by you but I wish I had. I tell you "I'm almost there" when I'm reluctant to get out of bed. Probably busy, going through thoughts filling up my head. I say "It's so great to see you" while putting on a fake smile. If I tell you what I meant, your happiness won't last for a while. "Sorry I didn't see your call, I'm really busy here in Tokyo" By now you should know I'm lying because I'm a real life Pinocchio. I use "I've got plans on that day" to get out of chances to meet new faces. Just because I feel uncomfortable in a crowd so I avoid new places. When the words I let out are hurting and too true, I say "I'm

JUDE UMOREN

Search This Blog